“Who’s in Charge?”
I drew it in answer to the question “I’ve got this strong feeling of anxiety; I don’t like it; I don’t want to feel this; what’s the best thing I can do to address it? What does it need from me?”
And I drew the Hierophant.
My first thought was the obvious “Talk to a therapist.” That’s reasonable advice.
I sat with it a while, looked at the imagery, nothing’s really popping out for me; he’s got a red robe; the pillars look strong; blah blah blah. The coins have crosses on them, that’s interesting.
Switched my focus from visual to feeling, and immediately got a feeling of Security. Of being Established. Which of course leads to “establishment,” which is what the card traditionally means. Just this very secure feeling of Belonging and that Belonging not being threatened in any way. Sitting in a very strong, established, non challenged, place. The energy was just overwhelmingly that of a key fitting into a lock, a hand in a glove, you get the idea.
I started thinking about what could have triggered my anxiety and fear, and I remembered that (God forbid,) I had been “talking to boys” this past week. Which doesn’t cause “normal” people anxiety but it does me – hence my decision to take dating off the table for at least a year. So that I could give my Root Chakra a rest for a while, let it heal, and establish a strong foundation of feeling safe and secure before re-entering the dating world. So I had been chatting with various exes this week because of the holidays, catching up, the normal thing, and felt tempted to start dating again – that was apparently enough to trigger the anxiety.
I’ve done work with my subconscious Self (inner child / whatever label you want to give it) in the past, and it’s worked really well for me to give respect to my internal Self that may not be ready for the same things that my external conscious Self is. I had let my subconscious know I was listening – and in the event I entered a realm where I wasn’t totally comfortable – all it had to do was let me know and I would honor it by backing up til a comfort level was reached again. Equilibrium I guess you could say. (It worked really well if anyone else wants to give it a try.)
(It’s worth noting also that there is symbolism within this card representing the three tiers of consciousness: the subconscious, the conscious, and the super conscious).
This time – I guess I”m getting more comfortable with loosening my grip – I proposed and agreed to let my subconscious fully run the show. WHICH SHOULD BE INTERESTING lol!!!!! God knows how I will actually put this into practice; I have some vague idea of letting my instincts guide me, tapping more into my internal child Self, going with the flow of what I want rather than dictating to myself via logic what I will do….
Long story short, the advice of this card turned out to be …. “Who’s in charge? Can you put someone else in charge for a while? Can another part of yourself lead the way instead? Do things have to be done only one certain way?”
As well as to give some thought to the foundations we may be working with – “Are they strong enough? Are you coming from a place of strength? Are there some ways you can shore existing foundations up stronger? ”
Pollack, Rachel. Seventy Eight Degrees of Wisdom. San Francisco, CA, Weiser Books, 2007.
Waite, Arthur E.. “Radiant Rider-Waite Tarot Deck.” Smith, Pamela C., Designer, (Reissued
in collaboration with Miss Sybil Waite and Rider & Company, London), U.S. Games
Systems, Inc., 2003, Stamford, CN.